Did He Really Do Anything Wrong? Or is he Just Human?
June 10, 2011This whole Anthony Weiner deal has made me ponder a great many things. The man is a great politician, in my opinion, and has a very logical and bold approach that looks at the whole picture, not just the picture with the elite.
So, I may have a biased view about this whole matter with his recent “scandal”, however, I think that the pondering it has led to is validated, as it applies not just to him, but a trend of judgment in general.
First of all, I think we hold public figures to a higher standard than that to which we hold ourselves. We have this notion that someone in the public eye must be perfect, which is simply not logical, as no human being is perfect, hence no human being can behave perfectly. The man has not broken any laws, maybe he broke a trust, maybe he was not discreet, but what really has the man done? I thought it about and this is my take…
Who of us can honestly say we have not flirted with someone other than our significant other? Who of us can honestly say that we have not enjoyed the flattering of someone making a pass at us, complimenting us even when we had a significant other? If you are truly honest, no one could truly say that they have not fallen under that spell of, well, simply being human. What really is wrong with feeling good about someone else finding you attractive? What really is wrong with you noticing someone other than your significant other is attractive too? I mean to deny any of this would be to deny that you are human.
Humans function as a product of our egos. We do things to satiate our egos. We want other people to stroke and soothe our egos. There is nothing wrong with this, it is the nature of being a human. Now, some of us may carry emotional baggage that takes these behaviors to an extreme that is unhealthy for us, because we become addicted to it and our function becomes limited to that rather than personal growth.
So, with this in mind I began to wonder, what really are we upset about? Are we upset because he did it, or are we upset because he wasn’t honest about it? I mean, what bearing does his act have on us? Honestly, none. Now, what effect it has on his relationship with his wife, well, that is none of our business.
When a significant other “cheats” on you, are you really upset about the act, or are you upset about the dishonesty of the act? The lack of communication between the two of you that led to the act I truly believe would be a more substantial reason to be upset. Relationships are hard, people change, life changes and this all changes a relationship. It is normal when things change for your ego to start to feel a need to find comfort, sometimes in the attentions of someone other than your significant other. This doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are doing something wrong, or that your significant other is. The problem therein lies more deeply in the lack of openness or honesty. What is sad, is when people seek this fulfillment elsewhere and then pull away from the person they are already with instead of communicating with them. Believe it or not, no one is absent of flirting even when they have a partner with lots of people they meet every day. It fills an emotional need. Believe it or not, if you could be open and honest with your significant other about your feelings, and if they were honest with you, you may find acceptance of your behavior and may be accepting of theirs. Flirting outside of your relationship does not need to bring harm to your relationship. Your view of it, their view of it, and the lack of honesty and communication are what cause the harm. In my own experience, had the person not acted as though they thought what they were doing was wrong by hiding, I quite frankly would not have cared, I just wanted open honesty in communication and still maintain a healthy relationship based on understanding of human nature and knowledge that I still was important. I simply understand that our ego seeks it out and it is not a threat, it’s just human nature. I am a very open minded person, even within an intimate relationship. Love is not about rules, love is about trust.
So, none of us know that state of Anthony Weiner’s marital relationship. None of know whether or not he loves his wife. No, what he did does not mean that he does not love his wife, it actually means he loves himself less than he should or he wouldn’t have needed to feed his ego. It’s not the act that determines his love of wife. None of us know what kind of pressure he is under in his political office and how that position can affect one’s mental and emotional state. None of us as of yet, know how his wife feels. We don’t even know if maybe she was aware that he flirts and maybe she understands as long as certain boundaries are not crossed. And guess what? None of that is any of our business.
Now, I am not condoning or judging him, that is not my place. But, think of it this way. We all believe murder is wrong. Ah, but do we really? If you go to war, then it’s okay. If you are defending yourself, it’s okay. If you are protecting someone else, it’s okay. Do you see my point? Nothing is ever black and white, everything is grey. So, while initially we all believe infidelity is wrong, but is it really? Are there exceptions? Can it be forgiven? Who are we to put boundaries on fidelity for someone else’s relationship?
So, it seems to me, that there is a trend to judge people on being human. We’ve condemned the man for falling prey to being a human, just like us. I really think we should give the guy a break.
Posted by S. Lynne Horton.
I am an author and an artist. My poetry was first recognized in 2003 and published in the book Colors of Life. I have since gained an online following, now am a Collaborative Writer for www.FengSHe.org and a contributing writer for www.relativityonline.com. Friends and fans have encouraged me to extend my writing into novels, specifically my own life story. I have begun a series, Emerald Blessing. The entire series will contain bits of my real life story and my personal struggles intertwined with a fantasy about a prophecy and my spirit guide along the way. I started releasing my novel, Emerald Curse, which is cummulation of my life story combined with a fantasy, one chapter a week on my Facebook fan page:www.facebook.com/pages/slynnehorton . I also post a poem once a week. I will now be posting my chapters and poetry on this blog each week. It is a journey through tragedy erupting into triumph. Be inspired.
If you wish to comment on a blog posting, please click on the specific blog post title and you will be redirected to the page for that specific blog and be allowed to comment and interact with me on each specific blog.
To learn more about me, see more of my artwork and get a glimpse of the other books in the Emerald Blessing Series, please visit my website at www.slynnehorton.com.
Thank you all for your interest and support. I look forward to interacting with you via Emerald Blessing Blogs. I believe we all learn from each other and can be enriched by our interactions. You are my inspiration.
*please note, all content: artwork, cards, poetry, story, is copyrighted by the author and artist and reproduction must be done with written and signed permission*
